im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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