I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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