this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
