using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize