Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
