terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I miss vodka workout Fridays
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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