The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
