piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
