Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
