My hair reeks of homosexuality.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
