Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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