Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
