i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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