so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
