no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
