I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
