she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
