BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
