i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
