the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
