i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
