imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Can I color on your dick again?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
