I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
