You're so nebulous sometimes
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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