Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
