i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
