If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
