Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
