Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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