Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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