I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
