i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
