we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
