My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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