Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
