I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
