i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
