just tell him i said nine months
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
