I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
