The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
