He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
