p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
