Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
