Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
