um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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