You really coming over, don't trick.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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