Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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