Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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