maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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