I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
