I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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