How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
