Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Someone came in the potted fern
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
