You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
