She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
