What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
