there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
