i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
